Tuesday, April 28, 2009
i dont know if ill ever see elji or even hear his voice again. inshallah.
but one thing i do know. its something ive known for most of my adult life. i dont belong to this world. there is nothing comfortable here for me. i dont mean i want to die. this is not a suicide post. no. i just dont feel a part of anything.
elji has probably been the sole person to make me feel more comfortable than anything or anyone in my life....and now i dont know whats going on with that.
Ya Allah, liberate me from fear. Give me the wisdom to think positively; give me the courage to stand by the truth; give me the openness to connect to those who avoid me; give me a smile, a clean heart and a winning attitude which conquers others; give me more of the world so I can spend in Your Path; give me the perspective that I need to remain satisfied with what You bless me with.
Ya Allah, forgive my sins and shortcomings and allow me to enter Jannah. Keep me on the Straight Path once You have guided me to it.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
what on earth happened to me? i used to be clever. quick with a quip. i even amused myself at times.
can anyone help me find me?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
"Allahumma rahmata arjoo fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfat ayn w’aslih li sha’ni kullahu la ilaha illa anta"(O Allah, for your mercy I hope, so do not leave in charge of my affairs even for the blink of an eye: rectify all my affairs. There is no God except You.)
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
but elji wont let those problems get the best of me. he seems to be my broom and dustpan these days and whereas in the past, i was miss independent and forever resisting any "help" from him, i just gave in this week and let it flow naturally. and flow naturally it did. im far from being the helpless, wilting southern belle but one can only take so much during such a really short period of time.