Wednesday, April 1, 2009

im going to step into the sunlight.

one year ago today. april 1st, 2008. the day that my ex husband decided to pack his bags and make his hasty exit. we all know that story. sick of hearing it myself. thats not what i want to talk about.

i will say that he still calls several times weekly and asks to return. refuses to talk about any annulment papers. says im still his wife in his his mind. well, not in mine and i possess the paperwork that severed our marriage, the paperwork that he refuses to see. wont even give me an address to mail the papers. ill let him live in a fantasy world.

ive moved on.

let me now talk about the person that kept me sane throughout my ordeal...elji. of course, elji is not his real name but thats ok. we'll keep him as elji.

how or where i met him is not of importance, but it was a casual and incidental meeting. not arranged. not a date. just two people who each thought the other was just totally funny, charming, captivating and entertaining. two smartasses to be honest. but we made each other laugh so much. when i met him i was not looking for anyone to have a relationship with. i was smarting over my husband's departure and still trying to work things out with him. after a couple of months i realized that my husband was a lost cause and decided to go on with life.

elji is so level headed and is really good at seeing problems and trying to provide the solutions in a very step by step manner. he looks to the future yet puts our small fires along the way. he is all of the cliches that you hand over to a "wonderful" man. he truly is wonderful though. he IS kind, he IS considerate, he IS thoughtful. he is always concerned about my well-being. he loves his family dearly especially his parents. i do believe that his dad is his hero and rightly so. ive learned alot about his dad and he is truly an honorable man....i can see where elji gets his ways.
.....and he loves me. he loves me enough that he chose to be with me against his family's wishes. his pakistani family. that should explain what i mean if you understand pakistani culture. he chose to have a future with me even though the odds were against us and ill never forget that. the sacrifices that he is making...............

for the past year, ive lived in darkness even when i didnt realize just how dark it was until recently. elji has been the one consistent bright spot in my life.

next week, im opening a new door. the beginning of life with elji. inshallah i can leave the darkness behind...inshallah.

i AM going to step into the sunlight.


  1. Good for you dear! I'm glad you found someone for you.



  2. I am crying out with joy dearest one that inshallah dreams can come true! Does this also mean you are getting married next week? Mashallah Jana! I wih I could see the look on your ex's face that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. Well his loss is your habibi's gain! I am sending you the most beautiful dinner plates virtually for this blesses event! Much love to you Jana. thank you for keeping us informed of this. Someday inshallah his family will accept you fully, and I'll make dua for that! Love you always.

  3. Really happy here! Enjoy to the core! Nice blog! It makes ur blog luk "happy"

    I'm moving to India...perhaps my "significant other" may also join me - somewhere in India - but livin 2gether - we're yung!

  4. bobby! youre going BACK to india?? i havent read your last post yet but i see it has something to do with returning....i thought you were happy to be back in oman??!!! hmmm. marriage yet. we are going to spend official time together. we stayed apart for a long time because i was still married and we didnt know for sure if we could even pull it off because of his parents pending plans for marriage for him...but we decided to go for it regardless. inshallah you can give me the virtual dinner plates soon enough!!! thanks love. happy i found someone for me too. i think i deserve it. just hope i dont drive elji insane lol.

  5. Asalamu Alaykom,

    I understand completely why you are going for this happiness. What I don't understand is why it's not with marriage. Find two men to witness the exchange of promise and mahr and move on towards a halal life. I swear to you from experience that happiness without halal is short-lived. I wish the best for you.

  6. thank you yosra for coming by..been a while. it will be halal inshallah. we are just now starting to make real plans for the future and want to do this properly and according to Allah. i just divorced not too long ago after a long separation. im not going to live with him. just to his hometown and inshallah meet some of his family which is rather large.

    inshallah if all things go well, we will marry.