Friday, August 2, 2013

To lament or not to lament

i dont think that anyone truly desires to lament. i personally believe that the act of lamenting is a desperate feeling. a feeling so haunting that it can crush your spirit.

lamenting is akin to death, init?

i do lament...i lament that light that i knew. i lament that joy and excitement that i knew. i lament the bond that was shared. i lament knowing and having. i lament the loss of protection and love.

i do, indeed, lament.

but this is not something that ive chosen. things and people come and go. nothing stays the same but there are some losses that create such a void, such sorrowfulness and melancholy that its like part of your flesh, part of your soul. even when you try to wash it away or wrap it up and stack it neatly in some inner corner, it sticks.  it dims for a while but then it shows up so unexpectedly. a song, a quote, a joke, a laugh, a color....anything can bring it back from its dormancy.

it can grip you with such pain and force that you dont know how to overcome it sometimes.

this is one of my favorite songs but it creates that feeling with such intensity.....i understand these words so well.

though im sure the pain will lessen, this is one feeling i will take to the end with me......Elji