why cant my ex husband just leave me alone? WHY?
he cant seem to accept that its finished and over. he doesnt call as often...alhamdulillah for that. but when he does call i have to end up hanging up the phone.
he is newly diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure) which im sorry for. his mother had a two of strokes and died a couple of years afterwards.
after i told him the islamic divorce was final and that i needed an address to mail him a copy, i didnt hear from him for 3 days. when he called me after these 3 days, he told me that he had been hospitalized for his blood pressure. he insinuated that my news of divorce did this to him.
he broke one of his teeth down to the gum and needs oral surgery and developed a sty.
all of this after the news of the divorce.
i remind him that he brought this divorce on himself. he realizes that, but he is lost i guess.
he cant find a job.
feels he has no one.
the last straw today for me is hearing him say that God is forgiving, why cant i be? i said yes God is forgiving and give me some time and i will be too. just a bit too fresh right now.
it took me a minute, but the realization finally struck....wait! you want me to be forgiving and what? take you back?
yes, take him back. thats what all of this phone call was about. to forgive him and take him back. his life is so bad and nothing is going right for him.
well my life's not exactly a bed of roses. im still trying to recover from the financial disaster you've left me. im on the verge of losing my home any day now. im still receiving your bills and having to answer the phone calls from your creditors. we go without an awful lot because of the condition you left us in.
but i didnt say any of that...its been said before the divorce. i dont want to keep re-hashing it.
but i did say to him that there will be no going back. i dont feel love for him. i care about him and his welfare. i dont wish him any ill will and thats the truth.
i reminded him again that we are islamically divorced and i would never return to him anyway. i also reminded him that i will obtain a civil divorce to complete the entire process....more money spent from my pocket unfortunately.
this is when he started yelling, ranting, raving...he has nothing here. he doesnt care. he cares about nothing. he doesnt care if he has a job, has a place to live.
i told him to please calm down. i dont want to continue to live through this stress. i was feeling so good after signing the papers. i dont want to have to keep listening to this crap. i told him to go to the mosque. talk to someone there that can help him find a job, find a more permanent place to live or just to help him go back to egypt.
he shouted that he is NOT going to beg for help. so i told him to return to the woman that he left me for then. perhaps she will be willing to help him. he started shouting more...he never wants to see her again.
i couldnt say anything over his shouts. i just hung up.
when do i get permanent closure from this marriage? he makes my nerves get so bad. im sorry for his situation honestly, but i just want to move on.
Polygamy and the Damsel in Distress
1 week ago