Wednesday, January 7, 2009

what the hell?

yeah!! thats the title of my newest post....WHAT THE HELL!!!???

for the first time in months i feel free to write about something else. i dont feel weighted down by the ex and the problems. i dont feel the need to write about that saga.

wow, i feel through my house. singing and shouting!! woo hooooo.

dare i say dancing, singing and shouting while running naked through my house??? now thats freedom.

but NO!! that would be another WTH!

why? because im fat!! you dont run naked through your home with a jelly belly. take my word for it on that!

ive never in my entire life been a thin person. i was much smaller and ive been heavier. childbirth and misery has a tendancy to do those things to people.

i used to really struggle with self image but then i realized that i would never be the skinny young frail thing and learned to accept who i am. we're not all the same.

so im the first to admit it!! yeah im a chunk!! others will say, "dont say that!!" or "no youre not!" and i cant help but laugh. what, you think that when youre overweight you become blind too? i cant see it or feel it? you just gotta see the humor in it all. its not a crime to be overweight. saying im fat is not the equivelant of admitting that im a career criminal. looool. God.

cant lie though, i dont love my fat...not by any stretch of the imagination. wish it would disappear.

something tells me thats not going to happen!

oh well..........i STILL feel like running, shouting, singing and dancing through my house naked!!!


  1. Jana I am so happy to see you laughing again, enjoy the new sense of freedom, you have earned it

  2. so happy to be laughing again!! and not buried under pressure. so thanks.

    but i miss you....plz come back to cozy...i miss you. but even if you just stay here in the blog with me ill be happy !!

    i just want to know how YOU are.

  3. I am great thank Jana, I am just so happy you have found yourself again. You have through a terrible time, I wish you love joy and happiness for 2009. Life throughs us a curve ball and we find our inner strenght to get through it.
    Hugs Terri

  4. thats not you in the picure is it ? if it was i don't care big people can be the best and skinny really nasty and vias verca let's not judge by the outward appearnce, i bet you are really specail in so many ways. When we all stand before Allah we are all equal its only our deeds that differnicate. hugs to you.

  5. no no rainbow thats not me!! alhamdulillah.