Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Am I it?

i know im not the only one that is feeling alone.

i know im not....where are the rest of you people?

the holidays are making it even worse.

i think of my life a year ago and it was bustling and i was content. holidays were totally fantastic!

this year, i wasnt looking forward to thanksgiving because i didnt think it would go well and it was okay at best.

eid al adha is in a few days. its a muslim holiday. the festival of sacrifice.

then christmas.

3 festive times and ive succeeded in making myself feel more alone somehow. i know alot of people feel alone during holidays but ive just not really been there myself.

i think seeing families together, husbands and wives out shopping makes me feel this way. my new "semi-impoverished" lifestyle makes me feel this way. im robbing peter to pay paul.

the holiday im dreading the most is eid al adha because i have no other muslim around me to even have a meal with except kylee and of course i do what i can for her. i dont even SEE any muslims around me doing anything that would even suggest there is a holiday. they are all in their homes and with other muslim families.

who knows what my husband is doing....i dont care.

again, not feeling self pity. as hard as it is to admit...i am just lonely.


  1. ha!
    I'm more lonely than you! I dropped school 2 yrs back, chose open-schooling...coz of health reasons.
    I lost in touch wit all my frnds and now I barely talk to anyone other than my parents an neighbors!!
    But, I was always a "solitary lover" so this is that bad as I thought it wud have been!

    Anyway, have happy holidays, spend the whole days with whatever you want to do...


  2. lol my 18 year old kindred soul!!! youre right..i can do as i want. youre totally right bobby.

    you know you made me smile really!!

  3. Are you still thinking about relocating? Just wondering...Kris

  4. Well, you are welcome to our house for eid!!:)

  5. awww thanks pixie...you made me get all teary eyed!

  6. yes kris...its a big thought process though....gotta get my ducks in a row. a lot of things to sort out.

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