Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Am I it?
i know im not the only one that is feeling alone.
i know im not....where are the rest of you people?
the holidays are making it even worse.
i think of my life a year ago and it was bustling and i was content. holidays were totally fantastic!
this year, i wasnt looking forward to thanksgiving because i didnt think it would go well and it was okay at best.
eid al adha is in a few days. its a muslim holiday. the festival of sacrifice.
3 festive times and ive succeeded in making myself feel more alone somehow. i know alot of people feel alone during holidays but ive just not really been there myself.
i think seeing families together, husbands and wives out shopping makes me feel this way. my new "semi-impoverished" lifestyle makes me feel this way. im robbing peter to pay paul.
the holiday im dreading the most is eid al adha because i have no other muslim around me to even have a meal with except kylee and of course i do what i can for her. i dont even SEE any muslims around me doing anything that would even suggest there is a holiday. they are all in their homes and with other muslim families.
who knows what my husband is doing....i dont care.
again, not feeling self pity. as hard as it is to admit...i am just lonely.