Monday, August 25, 2008


no this is not going to be a lesson about salvador dali or andre breton!! sorry for the disappointment to all of you hungry surrealist art fans........i know youre out there!!

no this is about me, me, me. well it is my blog, who else is it going to be about?

have you ever felt...well..that youre life is surreal. that youre walking in someone else's shoes? all the parts of the play have been written and youre playing the leading role with all the props in place but inside you feel like youre also watching that play? and youre thinking to yourself, "who's life is this?"

yet youre the one who auditioned for this play and got the part. and you revise the role day in and day out.

but you dont feel connected to it. you wonder why you accepted this role.

perhaps you see things around you that are wonderful and interesting. perhaps you even sense something else that makes you safe, comfortable and happy. you see brighter colors, smell wonderful smells.....but none of this belongs to you. youre only borrowing it for the moment.

no, youve accepted your role and youre committed to keeping your contract. you console yourself by saying, "perhaps had there been another place, another time".

but for now and perhaps forever, youll get up each morning and take your place on stage.

did i say this was about me, me, me? yet i addressed the majority of it as you, you , you? maybe its safer that way. maybe its more palatable to be on the outside looking in. surreal, right?


  1. thats how i always feel. i dont feel connected to myself anymore. im just doing things because i have to, survivng, and praying. probably gonna feel 'surreal' til the day i die. u should see my face, i look possessed.

  2. Asalamu Alaikum Jana

    Yeah I've felt like this, not recently but yes I have. Its a really hard place to be.

    I'll make dua for you... and please write to me if you need anything.