siggghhhhhhhh

well i have to say that it hasnt been as hard as i thought it would be. she still has good sense for the most part. i can leave her alone for a little while if i need to run errands but i never stay away too long. my sister is the only one of my mothers 7 children that lives in our hometown with my mother. she goes to my mothers house daily to make sure her meds are set out, that food is not spoiled in the refrigerator, clothes are washed, etc. my poor sis is tired so im trying to get my mother to stay as long as she will but i know soon she will be homesick for her apartment and ill have to take her. but at least my sis is getting a small vacation.

we took her our to lunch today and she kept telling the waiters jokes. telling jokes. that in itself is ok but she would yell at them from across the restaurant to come back so that she could tell another. i kept reminding her that they were busy. and they were trying to be patient , but, well.........

then, we found a pencil on the window sill. my husband said he would keep it since he likes to sketch with pencils. my mother told him to hand her the pencil and she would keep it in her purse for him and give it to him when we get home. he handed it to her. she put it in her purse. then she looked at me and said "THERE!" and she SHOT ME A BIRD!!!!!!!!! i was stunned and shocked. my mother, in her right mind, would have been mortified at doing such a thing. i have NEVER seen her do that before. i just sighhhhhheeeedddd. what else could i do.

her mind comes and goes. its not as bad as i thought. but i dont see how she can go on living alone. she cant remember which pills she has taken or how many. this is the most dangerous part. no no i take that back. the most dangerous part is the fact that she still has a truck and the damned keys to it and drives all over the place!!! its time for her to stop driving. she wanted to take my car to the dept store but i made up some pitiful excuse about the car not working properly! she would get hit immediately here where i live not to mention that she would get lost trying to find her way around.

but she is my mom and i try to over look the confusion and off color jokes to the general public. i know they get uneasy though.

example of joke she told waiter. she asked another waiter to give her a bag. she called the waiter over (again) and said." put your hand in this bag". he did. when he put his hand in the bag she hand the bag tightly around his wrist. he tried to pull his hand out of the bag but each time he did she held on a little tighter. he said, "what are you doing?" PUNCHLINE...........i knew that if i ever got you in the sack you wouldnt know what to do". my husband laughed, i turned red, my 18 year old son nearly died of embarrasment ( he works there lol).

but we will make it through this!!! she doesnt have much longer on this earth and at least she is here even though her mind is not the best. my husbands mother passed away a few months ago so he reminds me that i still have her and to love her dearly!!