Saturday, May 30, 2009

my immature viewpoint

ok so.


ive decided that for an old broad, im immature (you didnt think i named this blog that for the heck of it did you?).

im still very sad about elji but with the help from Allah ive been able to make it through my days a bit better.

im good sometimes, sometimes i panic and wish more than anything for him.

best thing is, even though i dont sleep well still, im not yanked awake anymore by that mysterious pair of hands at 2am...hmmm could that be the super mega dose of benadryl i take each night? yeah maybe.

i still pray we can get our chance...

but im preparing myself to go on with life in case we dont.

wow, i really thought we were gonna make it...see how immature i am? how silly?

old gal/young guy. american/brit. irish american background/pakistani background. born muslim/revert. divorcee/never been married....ya Allah..looooool. my immature brain.

funny thing is...elji actually liked it cause my mind was young....he requested i stay like that even when we grow old together...ouch that memory hurts a bit but inshallah.

at least i dont cry all the time anymore...i think i dont have anymore tears.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Jana ! Remember me ? I'm so sorry I was so out of touch and totally absent through from the blogging world. Was going through a lot, but Alhamdolillah I seem to have my life back in place finally ! I'm surprised I cant find your orig blog 'solo muslimah', this one's nice too though. I understand you are going through a tough time but take it as a test from Allah, the ayah from Surah Ankabut 'Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested' proved to be very reassuring for me. I hope Allah makes you walk out of these tests happier and stronger In sha Allah :)