my day in court did not go in my favor. by the coming weekend, im sure ill have orders to move from our home. the home that my ex was so determined to have. he was living the american dream and wanted bigger and better. hey back then it was cool. together we could afford it and more! but alone? no. no i couldnt do it alone. between losing his income, no financial assistance from him at all after he left and me losing hours at work, im on the verge of being homeless. i have one week to come up with the monies that i owe "corporate headquarters". lol sounds daunting doesnt it.
of course ill try to do just that but, well......
but, even if we lose our home i still thank God for everything i do and dont have. He never promised us an easy life on this earth. we are forever tested.
in surah (chapter) 2 - al baqarah (the cow), verses 155 and 156 say
"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return"
im trying to patiently persevere but its so hard. i just keep saying alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah though im really afraid.
its hard for me to admit publicly that im afraid. i still dont tell my children that. theyve always looked up to me for answers and decisions and ive always, somehow, come through for them. inshallah i will now also.
at this point, i have 3 of my children living with me. my oldest son moved back in a few weeks ago, brittany came back and of course the little one. im trying to think what to do with everyone in the event i have to leave the house.