Tuesday, November 11, 2008

you know what really bothers me?

this is what pisses me off. when other muslims busy themselves telling me that i cant...i CANT...celebrate any non muslim holiday with my family. WTH. i am the only muslim in my family. me, my husband (whatever) and my daughter.

my four oldest children are not muslim. neither my siblings nor my only remaining parent, my mother, are muslims. they all attend church. theyve never stepped foot in a masjid and i would faint from shock if one ever did. my children have but not the rest of the christian crew.

now....lets say this first and get it out of the way. thanksgiving is not a religious holiday. if you think cause youre a muslim you cant sit with your family and say thank you God for allowing us to be healthy enough to be able to enjoy each others company, well thats your own issue. just make sure you dont go and watch any fireworks either on the fourth of july cause that AINT NO MUSLIM HOLIDAY EITHER.

christmas? when did christmas REALLY hold much religiosity for americans anymore anyway. do you think that because im a muslim that im going to steal a holiday from my children and family that we've celebrated forever? Because i put up lights and a tree for the kids does not mean that im sitting at the foot of it daily pondering the probability of the trinity? im a muslim. i dont believe in the trinity. i believe that God is God and Mohamed was his last prophet.

but what pisses me off is the fact that ppl worry themselves silly over this. do NOT stress other muslims about holidays because you dont know what is going on in their heads...you dont know their intentions and you dont have to. its none of your business.

i just saw a commercial..a thanksgiving commercial. they were singing "over the river and through the woods, to grandmothers house we go....." most of you know it.

for me? there is no grandmothers house anymore. this year marks the first year that there is no home belonging to my mother anymore. there is no home to go over the river and through the woods to for thanksgiving or anything else. i can see her at the nursing home, sure, and im grateful for that, but.....

you see, holidays in general dont have any religious sentiment for me. they havent for a long long time. but they do remind me of my family. they make me remember a time when we were all together. when we lived close to each other. when my parents were alive and well...both of them. my grandparents. going to their homes. and my beautiful irish grandmother (miss emma marion) whom i loved so very much. we had a huge family. huge gatherings. we lived in a southern antebellum (pre civil war) home and had the most BEAUTIFUL decorations that my mother made herself. and huge christmas trees that my brothers went out and cut down to fit under our 15 ft ceiling. if i close my eyes, i can still see those trees shimmering now. i played the piano and i would play for everyone while they sang. we had fireplaces in each room but used only the one in the dining room where we had a sparking chandelier that sparkled even more when the fireplace was blazing. we had maids as i was growing up and they were always part of the family. my mother and the maids would cook all day and we would have the most fantastic spread of food you could ever imagine. next day, to each of my grandmothers homes for the same. it was pretty much the same for thanksgiving. true joy and beautiful memories.

my father owned a small grocery store. the people who shopped there were so familiar that they too became like family members. our little store was also festive during the holidays. everyone in good spirits.

my mother owned a flower shop, so holiday times were busy at her shop. starting with halloween until christmas was over. there is nothing like the smell of fresh flowers coming from the cooler, clipping the ends and making a beautiful holiday arrangement for someone. our fingers would be stained with chlorophyll for weeks until the holidays were over!! and it was all family working there!! my aunts, me, my mother,another sister plus my uncle had a frame shop in the other half of the store. being there gave me such a sense of satisfaction and i still receive satisfaction today by making arrangements for myself and my friends.

i was the youngest of 7 and i was much younger than most of them. much like my youngest daughter is now. i was spoiled beyond belief, which is not always a good thing lol. but i enjoyed all of those years and swore i would do all i could to make sure that my own children had beautiful holiday memories too. its not been as grand for my children because the family spread out all over the country, i was a single mother for a few years, and we live in a city where we have not one family member, but we try.

so holidays for me brings back ALL of this. all of these beautiful memories. i do many of the things that my mother used to do and it makes me feel warm and full of love. makes me feel like my grandmother and my dad are watching over me...and that my mother is still healthy and the same.

sometimes, during holidays, i find myself feeling very alone. i see the shoppers, i hear the music and laughter, i sense the love and excitement and i realize that i dont have anyone else around me anymore. no parents, no siblings, no husband. i suddenly feel very tiny, lost and sad.

so please..do not push your views on me about holidays. just please let me have my time for my family and let me answer to Allah...not you.



  1. it must have been awesome to be around such big family!
    I ain't that fortunate coz by the time I turned 10 the family was split up with uncles and aunts far away - and getting further far day by day.
    now it is just me,dad and mom!

  2. asalaam alaikum sis,

    I know the holidays can be such a tough time. I personally got over the Christmas thing, and had a much harder time with Eid because I was the only muslim in my family. Thanksgiving we view as a family meal, because it's a convenient gathering time as nobody has to work. I personally just stay away from the religious symbolism of Christmas, though you are right, for most, it has nothing to do with the religious part anymore any way.

    Don't be too harsh on those telling you to stay away from holiday celebration. Keep in mind as muslims we are supposed to remind each other which is the right way to go. Some people do this very well, others mean well but come off quite offensively. While you know your intentions towards what you are doing, just remember they have their intentions too. InshaAllah they only meant to be helpful. But in the end we will each answer to Allah for what we have done.

    Take care sis, and enjoy your family time.

  3. you know, i dont mind discussing things like this at all but some people are very offensive in the way they go about it...the two eids are what is important for me, but they arent important to the rest of my family..they still have what we all grew up with. i love my family. i love my mother dearly. i just couldnt see telling her that i couldnt visit with her and share the time with her because im a muslim. if only people know how to talk to others...but people have to realize too that i know whats proper and whats not, thats why i said...you dont know whats going on in a persons head or life. so its not ALWAYS necessary to start a lecture.

  4. bobby it was awesome having a big family. but so many of them arent around anymore and we've dwindled down to a precious few.

  5. i cant stand it either. its like once certain muslims embrace salafism they just go crazy on u. enjoy with ur kids and dont ever let others ruin it for u. if they keep saying stupid crap like 'may allah guide u' then let them say it. alhamdulillah we are already guided and protected too. u know, salafis really make me depressed, and its what makes me angry all the time. but whenever i make dua, and whenever i see my duas being accepted, i just think to myself that i dont care what anyone thinks, Allah is listening to me. alhamdulillah.

  6. you know your a good person wahaj. ur always my lil sis. and im not going to let anyone ruin anything. if it were up to me and i were alone, i wouldnt do anything. but thats just it....im not alone. i have a family and i have to tend to their needs.

  7. Girl, don't sweat it. Some muslims are so arrogant. My immediate family is muslim, but all my other family isn't (I have a big family). I always go to Thanksgiving dinners. Omg it's so much fun! All that food and family:D. But I do not go to any Christmas celebrations because Islamically I don't think that's appropriate. But just shrug off the haters, cuz trust me there are many!!:)