this is what pisses me off. when other muslims busy themselves telling me that i cant...i CANT...celebrate any non muslim holiday with my family. WTH. i am the only muslim in my family. me, my husband (whatever) and my daughter.
my four oldest children are not muslim. neither my siblings nor my only remaining parent, my mother, are muslims. they all attend church. theyve never stepped foot in a masjid and i would faint from shock if one ever did. my children have but not the rest of the christian crew.
now....lets say this first and get it out of the way. thanksgiving is not a religious holiday. if you think cause youre a muslim you cant sit with your family and say thank you God for allowing us to be healthy enough to be able to enjoy each others company, well thats your own issue. just make sure you dont go and watch any fireworks either on the fourth of july cause that AINT NO MUSLIM HOLIDAY EITHER.
christmas? when did christmas REALLY hold much religiosity for americans anymore anyway. do you think that because im a muslim that im going to steal a holiday from my children and family that we've celebrated forever? Because i put up lights and a tree for the kids does not mean that im sitting at the foot of it daily pondering the probability of the trinity? im a muslim. i dont believe in the trinity. i believe that God is God and Mohamed was his last prophet.
but what pisses me off is the fact that ppl worry themselves silly over this. do NOT stress other muslims about holidays because you dont know what is going on in their heads...you dont know their intentions and you dont have to. its none of your business.
i just saw a commercial..a thanksgiving commercial. they were singing "over the river and through the woods, to grandmothers house we go....." most of you know it.
for me? there is no grandmothers house anymore. this year marks the first year that there is no home belonging to my mother anymore. there is no home to go over the river and through the woods to for thanksgiving or anything else. i can see her at the nursing home, sure, and im grateful for that, but.....
you see, holidays in general dont have any religious sentiment for me. they havent for a long long time. but they do remind me of my family. they make me remember a time when we were all together. when we lived close to each other. when my parents were alive and well...both of them. my grandparents. going to their homes. and my beautiful irish grandmother (miss emma marion) whom i loved so very much. we had a huge family. huge gatherings. we lived in a southern antebellum (pre civil war) home and had the most BEAUTIFUL decorations that my mother made herself. and huge christmas trees that my brothers went out and cut down to fit under our 15 ft ceiling. if i close my eyes, i can still see those trees shimmering now. i played the piano and i would play for everyone while they sang. we had fireplaces in each room but used only the one in the dining room where we had a sparking chandelier that sparkled even more when the fireplace was blazing. we had maids as i was growing up and they were always part of the family. my mother and the maids would cook all day and we would have the most fantastic spread of food you could ever imagine. next day, to each of my grandmothers homes for the same. it was pretty much the same for thanksgiving. true joy and beautiful memories.
my father owned a small grocery store. the people who shopped there were so familiar that they too became like family members. our little store was also festive during the holidays. everyone in good spirits.
my mother owned a flower shop, so holiday times were busy at her shop. starting with halloween until christmas was over. there is nothing like the smell of fresh flowers coming from the cooler, clipping the ends and making a beautiful holiday arrangement for someone. our fingers would be stained with chlorophyll for weeks until the holidays were over!! and it was all family working there!! my aunts, me, my mother,another sister plus my uncle had a frame shop in the other half of the store. being there gave me such a sense of satisfaction and i still receive satisfaction today by making arrangements for myself and my friends.
i was the youngest of 7 and i was much younger than most of them. much like my youngest daughter is now. i was spoiled beyond belief, which is not always a good thing lol. but i enjoyed all of those years and swore i would do all i could to make sure that my own children had beautiful holiday memories too. its not been as grand for my children because the family spread out all over the country, i was a single mother for a few years, and we live in a city where we have not one family member, but we try.
so holidays for me brings back ALL of this. all of these beautiful memories. i do many of the things that my mother used to do and it makes me feel warm and full of love. makes me feel like my grandmother and my dad are watching over me...and that my mother is still healthy and the same.
sometimes, during holidays, i find myself feeling very alone. i see the shoppers, i hear the music and laughter, i sense the love and excitement and i realize that i dont have anyone else around me anymore. no parents, no siblings, no husband. i suddenly feel very tiny, lost and sad.
so please..do not push your views on me about holidays. just please let me have my time for my family and let me answer to Allah...not you.
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