alot has happened to me over the past few days. no i should say that alot of emotions have happened to me over the past few days. you know, online people are tremendously supportive. what did we do before we had the internet?
eid al fitr came and went without so much as a spark for me. somehow im just not going to let that happen again. i dont know what i have to do to NOT be alone next time, but i wont. now i know how christians feel when christmas comes and they have no one. ahhh the lonliness. it is painful. i was never alone for christmas. never. but muslim celebrations? hmm. i worked day 1 and day 2 of eid, but i oft wondered what other people were doing throughout the day. oh well.
my husband did send my daughter a large package of clothes as an eid gift. at least he thought of her, alhamdullilah.
Elji. he is leaving for pakistan tonight with his dad. though im not sad about it anymore, i am worried since safety in pakistan is rather precarious. he will be there for 2 long weeks but from what i understand he will not be in the large cities during his stay and this is where the violence is. he will not marry either. he made up his mind about that already. we will have a bit more time and even though i am relieved at that, i understand what that can mean. we will either grow closer and inshallah something good can come of it or inshallah he will still marry someone from pakistan and we will suffer tremendously. please people, no bad comments about elji. dont compare him to the guy you once knew that broke your heart. he and i are exceptionally honest. we both know where we stand in each others lives and we both know each others situations. we know what can and probably will happen. that bridge is still before us.
anyway, i am pretty good actually. relaxed for the most part. im still alive alhamdullilah.