Friday, February 22, 2008

my mother was in the hospital

well, my sister called me on tuesday to let me know that my mother had been admitted to the hospital with a bladder infection plus pneumonia. that explains the newest onset of confusion. when i talked to my sister on the phone the other day i told her to plz take her to the doctor to check her bladder as uti's in the elderly cause increased confusion. i was happy that she was being taken care of medically. my sister apologized to me for not being a "professional nurse" for our mother. i told her that i didnt expect her to a "professional nurse" as she is not a nurse. but that i didnt want her to ignore possible illnesses and just chalk it up to sudden increased confusion and the need to be chunked in a nursing home.

i was going to go home to see my mother until my sister called me tonight. i guess she is extraordinarily happy now. she told me that the doctor is admitting my mother to a nursing home for 21 days for physical and mental rehab the very next morning which was this morning. my sister said my mother agreed to it and was content about it. i was silent for a while. what could i say.

she said after the 21 days i could come and get her if i wanted because it seems that noone else was willing to "take her". take her? boy i think of the times that my brothers and sisters (including myself) have had to come back home temporarily for whatever reason and she "took us" without question.

i have numbed myself a little bit because i dont want to think of my mother in that nursing home even if it is for 21 days. my only consolation is that her brother is there. his wife admitted him a couple of months ago. he's in his 90's.

and i do know that my sister needs some rest. so its good for her too. but i will wait to see what will happen.

its funny how things start becoming "final". i told my husband i want to go to my mothers house and retrieve many of the things that either my children or my husband and i gave her over the years before any of my siblings can lay claim to them.

i dont know what to do at this point. Allahu alim.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it sad how some family members consider an elderly parent an inconvenience and would rather they be placed in a 'rest home' than to take any responsibility for their care.

    Hopefully with the attention to her medical problems she will become less confused. That however will not change the fact that dementia has started and that it will get progressively worse and she will required assistance in some form or other.

    Have you talked to your other siblings? Or are you just going by what your sister has said?

    I know that some of them are much older than you.. and I expect they don't have young children at home any longer either and are probably more financially stable than you are considering you were a single mom up until a short while ago. You need to have that family meeting.. face to face if possible.. but if not, via teleconference if you can. Decisions have to be made about her care and it should not fall just on one person's shoulders. Lay the guilt trip on them if necessary too.

    I swear, since going through this all with my own parents.. (and if I had more than one child), I would write in my will that all my assets would go to the child(ren) that took care of me in my old age and that those who didn't step up would not get a red penny.

    If I can help you with any ideas or if you just need someone to listen, please don't hesitate to call me Jana.