i give up

i guess i said that my mother had gone to my brothers home in tennessee. but my brother left a voice mail for me yesterday telling me that my mother went home to her hometown because her sweetheart had broken his toe and needed her help. she went of course and that was all fine and good. thats where she is the happiest. i wish they would get married (she's 84 and he's 86) but i think they are afraid they will lose some of their pensions.

but that means, also, that she will be back where my sister is....yes the one that wanted to put her in the nursing home.

well i got an email early this morning from my bro in tennessee. it was actually a letter to all 7 of us siblings explaining that our mother was in her hometown and why. well out of my other 6 siblings only 2 of them actually called her after she came to my home.

then other emails started coming. a letter here and there from brothers with a general pointed statement like "oh good, cant tell you how happy i am that she is back where she belongs". it was sent to everyone but i understood well what it meant. they dont want her here with me.

and thats ok. she will never be happy here with me. she wont be happy with anyone. she wants to be in her hometown.

i talked to her today and she was happy. she wants to go to the nursing home she said again. and i said ok. that was fine. she said she can see her fellow plus her brother is in that nursing home and she has friends that are there.

so perhaps i had to take this journey. i had to see and do it all. but she doesnt want to be here and knowing that my siblings are happy that my mother wont be living with me just makes me throw my hands up and say ok. ok. ok.

but at least i tried.