Tuesday, January 29, 2008

isolated as a muslimah

well. i have to say that there are times i feel like i am floundering alone as a muslim sister. there is a good amount of sisters in my area although small compared to other areas in the usa. but most of them are foreigners. and that is not a problem to me but as hard as i have tried i just cant seem to find a real friendship. the sisters at the masjid have a tendancy to flock together in accordance to their home country. they speak their languages to each other. they will speak to me from time to time and they will sit with me but eventually they will find a sister from their home country to sit with. they all know each others children and really look to each other as a sister in islam. sometimes, we will have nights to bring food and the sisters will all bring dishes but noone thought to tell me about the potluck dinner. i think i am the only revert there. the rest of the sisters are born muslims.

i am a friendly outgoing person and i have never had any problems making friends my entire life. i have always been a welcoming person. if i see someone new i will go out of my way to make them feel comfortable and i mean anywhere....neighbor, work, even the masjid when i see a sister looking lost.

i have joined a few websites for muslim women and i try to join in but i swear i rarely get any response. i try to fit and its not that i DONT fit, its just that noone makes an effort to pull me into their conversation even when i post. i have a forum myself. women only. and we have had members over the years join but leave eventually and i finally realized that they too werent "pulled into the conversation". when members have gotten to know each other and give each other salams and cyber hugs the newest member feels so left out no matter how hard she tries. so i encouraged my members to always welcome the new ppl!!

i guess its the same at the masjid. perhaps the ladies dont realize that while they are all hugging and kissing and playing with each others kids, there is some lost soul like me wishing i was part of that group.

am i whining? i hope not, inshallah. i do feel left out. i wish more than anything that i had good muslim friends around me. but for now i have my non muslim friends. they love me dearly and think im cool lol.

so why is it that i dont fit in with the muslimahs? i do belong to one site where i fit it. i dont know whats different about that one. its coed. but i love the muslimah sites so much and wish i had the rapport in those as i do in other areas!! i wonder if its me at time. perhaps i give off a bad vibe i dont know.

4 comments:

  1. salaam sis..

    although I have not had the courage to go to a local mosque yet, I do have a feeling my experience would be similar to yours if I did....my city isnt exactly revert central and we have a lot of immigrants who all speak their own languages and prefer to be around others from the same country or culture....so I know I will always be alone to a certain extent. I dont think you should take it personally though and you are a friendly outgoing kind sister so you are doing your part....on most sites I am not one who gets many responses either and I tend to fall through the cracks...no you dont give off a bad vibe, in fact u give off energy!

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  2. Well, I for one....like you!

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  3. Just thought I should post this here as well...

    Nah, you don't suck. I read the blog... you know Muslimahs are just as cliquey as high school girls... and it's true a lot of times they stick with their own nationalities.... it's rough being a lone Muslimah, I go through it too... A LOT.

    There are a lot and I mean TONS of Muslims in Philly, but I don't know or associate with not a one sister out here. I go to the masjid here sometimes and give salaams but that's it, don't know any of the sisters here. They say Salaam but that's it, nothing more.

    The sisters I "hang out" with, and not even that often are (all 2 of them) at least an hour and fifteen minutes away, but Alhamdulillah for them. I love my sisters dearly, they're always at the very least only a phone call or email away... and if I truly needed them they would be right here.

    But it sucks sometimes when you just need a hug or don't feel like going abaya shopping alone... you get used to it but you hate it (at least that's how it is for me)... and it gets very lonely...

    But Alhamdulillah I have my sisters and maybe I can't see them all the time or as often as I would like to, but I can talk to them almost daily and when I do see them it just makes our time together even better...

    You know you have your sisters online. We all go through our things from time to time but we're still here. It sucks that we can't just go have lunch or come over, but hey insha Allah in Jannah we'll all be neighbors and can hang out all the time and that's gonna be way better than any dunya happiness :)

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