a general answer

i had a couple of ppl inquire about the anniversary. so i decided to write a general answer!!

we had the most wonderful time we have ever had together. we usually have a good time when we go off together but this time was exceptional!!

and not just cause i came home with plenty of goodies but because my husband was so wondeful and loving!!

the goodies...well he didnt buy anything because he thinks, ok knows, i am picky. so when we got to atlanta and checked into our room we headed straight to the oh so swanky lenox square mall in buckhead. for those of you who dont know atlanta, well, i cant afford to shop at this mall on just any casual day!!


he took me to the jewelry store and swarovskis. i couldnt decide between the diamond hoops and swarovski crystal earrings so we went off down the mall where i picked out glamorous gucci sunglasses!! oh yes im so fabulous now. then went back to get the diamond hoops!!

this is how stupid i am. i generally wear slide in shoes..no backs. just what i prefer. well this is what i did that day too. but what did i do? put lotion, ALOT of lotion on my feet, prior to leaving for atlanta and put my loafers on with no socks. so my feet were slipping and sliding literally to the point i was having to hold on to the shoes with my toes. my calf muscles started to ache from this. so hence the stop at the shoe store looooooooool. i was simple at this point...new white leather keds!! i love them though.

mall closed early on sunday of course. we did have reservations at ruths chris steakhouse which we cancelled cause we were dressed very casually and we didnt have time to go back to our room and change. so we headed off to a favorite....the cheesecake factory. YUMMMMYYYYY!! we had a blast there. the place was packed!! valet parking though. there we were with our honda civic and everyone else (we were still in the buckhead area) was in mercedes, bmw's, hummers, etc. loooooooooooooooool. we didnt care.

went back to room..............fade to black. looool

next morning, got up went to another mall in atlanta where he let me pick out clothes!! they are awesome!! i felt so greedy. oh yeah and 2 new purses.

then to the macaroni grill. man their food is the best!! im still stuffed from the 2 meals.

oh and of course, a new starbucks cup!! my collection goes on.

stopped and bought new clothes and purses for the daughters at home!!!!

ohhhhhhh how sad i was to come back home.....shopping spree over!

oh i forgot!! the very first thing he bought me was an ipod at the huge apple store in lenox square.

ok, looking back over this post.........i AM greedy. but it was super fun!!!!

my anniversary is tomorrow.

did i ever say that i love my husband? well if i didnt, im doing it now. i do love him dearly. tomorrow we will go for a nice dinner in atlanta and stay the night there at the hyatt!!! we were going to a nice little honeymoon suite in the mountains but we decided to head to the city instead.

im so excited. like going on a date with him for the first time. he has been sneaking around for the past week with a grin on his face. i have no earthly idea what he has bought but he's pretty darned good at picking out jewelry!

oh i cant begin to tell you some of the horrible times that we had in the past. dont even want to relive those moments. but alhamdulillah we got past them and have a good marriage. he is a good husband and father.

lol i guess im all giggly and silly inside. slap me plz.

my mother was in the hospital

well, my sister called me on tuesday to let me know that my mother had been admitted to the hospital with a bladder infection plus pneumonia. that explains the newest onset of confusion. when i talked to my sister on the phone the other day i told her to plz take her to the doctor to check her bladder as uti's in the elderly cause increased confusion. i was happy that she was being taken care of medically. my sister apologized to me for not being a "professional nurse" for our mother. i told her that i didnt expect her to a "professional nurse" as she is not a nurse. but that i didnt want her to ignore possible illnesses and just chalk it up to sudden increased confusion and the need to be chunked in a nursing home.

i was going to go home to see my mother until my sister called me tonight. i guess she is extraordinarily happy now. she told me that the doctor is admitting my mother to a nursing home for 21 days for physical and mental rehab the very next morning which was this morning. my sister said my mother agreed to it and was content about it. i was silent for a while. what could i say.

she said after the 21 days i could come and get her if i wanted because it seems that noone else was willing to "take her". take her? boy i think of the times that my brothers and sisters (including myself) have had to come back home temporarily for whatever reason and she "took us" without question.

i have numbed myself a little bit because i dont want to think of my mother in that nursing home even if it is for 21 days. my only consolation is that her brother is there. his wife admitted him a couple of months ago. he's in his 90's.

and i do know that my sister needs some rest. so its good for her too. but i will wait to see what will happen.

its funny how things start becoming "final". i told my husband i want to go to my mothers house and retrieve many of the things that either my children or my husband and i gave her over the years before any of my siblings can lay claim to them.

i dont know what to do at this point. Allahu alim.

what excitement!

obligation. our dear blogging sister. she has made it back to her homeland alhamdulillah!!!

for those of you who read her blog, make HUGE prayers for her....she will need them.

when i read her latest post, my heart raced like i had just received the biggest gift. it seems she has climbed the mountaintop but lets see whats at the top!

congrats, mz obligation (dont wanna say her name as her blog is pvt now!)

they say.........

my father died years ago. its really hard to lose a parent and it was difficult going all of these years without a father.

but they say that when you lose your mother, youre really an orphan. you really are alone.

im afraid

.........that she will put her in a nursing home without me knowing it.

what would i do.


you know why my sister said she wasnt doing well????? because my mother is diabetic and ate 3 sugary doughnuts that a visitor brought to her home.

because they were playing a card game and suddenly my mother couldnt remember how to play.

because my mothers visitor took her to play bingo and on the way home, my mother couldnt remember where they were or where they were going.

dementia. i think that all goes along with it.


have you ever?

have you ever entered a nursing home and seen the residents sitting by their windows waiting for anyone to visit?

have you ever entered a nursing home and seen the residents sitting in a wheelchair with their face perpetually down because noone sees them, noone looks at them, they are not real anymore?

i have and more.

mother, mother! mother! can i sit by you again and laugh like we used to? can you hold my children and cook for them? mother?

how much can a heart break

my sister called me tonight, yes the one who is caring for my mother. she told me that she was taking our mother to the doctor tomorrow to see if he can put her in a nursing home for rehab for about 30 days. rehab? rehab for what?! there is no rehab for dementia!! i said what exactly do you think rehab will do for her? she said that my mother is not doing well. and i told her didnt i tell you to send her to me?? she said yes you did, but she will exhaust you.

exhaust me?

exhaust me?

didnt we all exhaust her when she gave birth to us? didnt we exhaust her as she got up with us during the night, cared for us when we were sick, took us to the doctor, when our father died didnt we really exhaust her? 7 children. 7 children she had..has.

we owned a grocery store. my father, god rest his soul, died without a penny of life insurance. his brothers and sisters took our grocery store from us. we were well off financially before they took our source of income.

but not after he died. no. she struggled with her businesses. there were times we had nothing in the refrigerator. there were times that i had no clothes for school and had to rummage through my sisters old clothes to find something to wear. and no they didnt fit either.

wasnt she exhausted?

with all that we put her through growing up........did she ever turn her back one single time? no

my sister said that she talked with "the others" and they said "do what you have to do" what the hell? i said, who? who did you talk to that said do what you have to do? well not everybody, just one of them. oh really?

i will come to get her. take her to the doctor tomorrow and see what he says. i told her that mother will never be cared for properly in a nursing home. ive worked in them off and on for 20 years dont you think i know what goes on?

i am not turning my back on her. she is so ...........................pitiful.

she is so frail.

weak

cant remember how to cook eggs.

she just cant.

not anymore.

i love her.

i spoke to her after i talked to my sister.

she was laughing that laugh. my mothers laugh.

help me God. i dont know either.

maybe boring is preferable

so i really wasnt complaining about my marriage. on the contrary. but even if i longed for excitement, which i dont, i read some of my sisters blogs and come away with a sadness that is disquieting. i usually read the blogs and then sit motionless for a few minutes trying to reabsorb and assess what ive just read. i wish i knew what to do to help these sisters. i have always known that men are heartless, many of them anyway. but the husbands of these sisters.....how do they get to the point that they are at in life now? how do you step on your wife and dust your feet on her. how do you lose yourself in the moment, in the heat? what makes a man become so inconsiderate and irresponsible?

God help all of you because, Allahu alim, it could be me one day.


i wish all of you ladies knew that i read your blogs and ache for you...obligations, meandering muslim, blossoms of thought, my life as a muslim and a few more.